TO SETTLE IS TO SUFFER...IN VAIN.: "FREE LIKE A WILLOW TREE!!"

TO SETTLE IS TO SUFFER...IN VAIN.: "FREE LIKE A WILLOW TREE!!": So I really don't know what's gotten into me but I'm 100% lovin' it! I believe I've found my balance in life and it feels oh so good!! I hav...

"FREE LIKE A WILLOW TREE!!"

So I really don't know what's gotten into me but I'm 100% lovin' it! I believe I've found my balance in life and it feels oh so good!! I have felt that I was balanced in all areas accept one for the past few years. What is that area? None other than the area known as MEN. Yes, striving to live a saved, single lifestyle I now realize that I might have been too far on the other end of the spectrum. It's about a healthy balance, staying in tune with God, letting the Holy Spirit lead you and not running from men just because you want to live a celibate life, but instead stating your boundaries, maintaining them, and relaxing while God grabs the steering wheel! Oh yes this feels so good because it's healthy. NO MORE RUNNING-WHO THE SON SETS FREE, IS FREE INDEED! I am enjoying being in my 20's. I am confident, beautiful, successful, sexy, intelligent, strong, determined, etc. I'm relaxing in these moments and the theme for 2012(personal theme) BE FREE LIKE A WILLOW TREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE PEN SPEAKS

When my mouth is closed, the pen is speaking

From its tip it’s leaking

Knowledge, wisdom, understanding

Definitely landing

On a blank slate

So once again I am poetry in motion

Like that beat we call rap-vibrating with a purposed notion

Full of but not led by emotion

All authentic, never selling a magic potion

In my womb I carry the soon to be manifested conception

Of God’s predestined plan

Marching forward, not needing a cheerleader or a fan

Here is my hand…

My hand with its calluses, wounds, bruises-palm down

To give to the hearts that mine heart wraps around

To extend to the hand attached to the body who’s been beaten to the ground

Who’s soul I can hear cry out for freedom…

And so I feed em

And so I lead em

And so I seed em

And so…I..be…them.

brief...

I have so many ideas roaming around in this big head of mine!LOL! I mean I want to start an organization to help others birth out their dreams, businesses, and visions for life. I am writing a book. I started a new job as a program manager and am loving and enjoying every challenge it brings. I may not be ultimately where I'd like to be but I know that God has the ultimate plan and I am being still long enough this time to see what the end is going to be:) #lovinlife:)

Dead Woman Walking

I am truly enjoying my life! I have embarked on a new journey that I am loving, including every twist and turn:) I am pushing out so many visions, and dreams that God has placed inside of me from the beginning of time. I am successfully single, writing a book, starting an organization, beginning a new job, and really loving me some God right about now! God has truly shown me that He is the ultimate source-my provider, my way maker, my all and all:) I continue to fall in love with God over and over again and as I do, things and situations that seemed so major at one point in life-are so small at this moment in my life. A wise man once told me that it's all about your perception in life. Another wise man by the name of Albert Ellis had the same concept. The #1 selling book of all times (Bible) says that as a man thinketh-so is he. So this concept isn't new, I'm just now learning what it means to actively apply it to my life:) I am hidden right now and it is in my hiding place that I died and became a "Dead Woman Walking" and I have reaped the rewards bountifully:)

thought...

So a very wise friend of mine gave me some simple yet profound advice...she told me to take 5-10mns every day and write. This was helpful to me because I desire to publish a book some day filled with thoughts, quotes, poems, etc. but I've lately viewed this as a task instead of something enjoyable, but when she gave me this simple advice, it made so much since because if I take a few minutes out of each day to write, in a few months-I'll have a book! Although, the world may not be ready to read what goes around in this head of mine!lol! #I'mwritingabook:)

SEASONS

It's been awhile but the seasons of my life are changing rather rapidly and I'm just trying to keep up!lol! I am learning so much-things I thought I knew at least a little bit about but realized later just how much of a student to life I really am. I am loving the learning process. At times I've wanted to give up or take a break from this thing called life and fly away to a Utopia-lol, but since this is reality I guess I'll plant my brown behind, get some roots, and allow myself to be flexible clay in the potter's hands:) Yup these are the seasons of my life, people, situations, things, rarely last forever but that's alright because you can take some learning and growth opportunity from each and use it to grow and press forward. Even the strong get weak at times, pause at times, cry at times, scream at times-but strength is not so much expressed in one's actions but in the constant, steady beat of one's heart. These are the seasons of my life and I'm thankful for the grace to walk in some, run in others, and in this one...just to be still.

I'M IN THE BIRTHING POSITION!!

My legs are spread, my body in the birthing position
what I am about to birth has not even been mentioned
tell the newspapers to get ready cuz this will be worth printin'
On my back fakers think I'm slippin'
But I'm just in the birthin' position

Ms. Williams where are you? I've been in hybernation
Layed prostrate in consecration
Ready to give birth to a Picasso in the makin'
the whole nation is shakin
in anticipation
All of creation is waitin...

It's in the birthin' position that your true friends are discovered
it's in this position that your dreams and visions are recovered
Who is meant to be in place to help me give birth-simply-will be
Only the ones who from the beginning of time, looked at me BUT SAW ME
Oh baby it's time!

Time to align, give birth to God's divine...
purposes for my life
and while I'm in labor I say thank you...
thank you so much for the knife
placed in my heart in attempts to crucify it with strife

While I'm in labor I say I am thankful for all the test and trials
For the times when I had noone to run with me but God-yet I still ran for miles

While I'm in labor I press on and continue to pray for all
While I'm on my back I still stand tall
and I'll stand as tall as the tallest tree
So while the winds blow and the storms rage-I'm cool because God has hidden me

Until now...

NOW I give birth! I cry out in pain but not in vain
Because every tear cried was water for the garden of my victory
No matter what the enemy does-I am who I am because God has already paid that fee
Baby this aint no imitation talkin'-this is indeed-ME!

MS. WILLIAMS YOU MAY NOW....PUSH!!!!!!!!!!

They tell me I'm half woman half man
nurturing like a woman
laid back and free like a man
I just call it how I see
a spade is a spade-I'm just sayin'

I try to be as straight forward as possible
letting it be known that since I have a purpose-I'm unstoppable
They say be dainty and paint on a pretty face
I say, no need for intimidation-I know my place
Me trying to take over a man's role-definitely not the case
I just happen to walk with a confident pace
Determined to finish this race
So please, relax-your jock strap is safe

I walk with my back straight and never bent
I am the apple of God's eye-without a doubt, heaven sent
the scent
that I wear is called FREE!
Because who the Son has set free-is free indeed!

While I'm waiting...

So I am still in the waiting, stand still season in my life and for a moment I begin to ask God, "When God When?" I started to feel as though I'd come to a screeching halt in my life and that I was not where I desired to be at this point in my life. I didn't necessarily feel like a failure because I'm in God and there is no failure in God. I just felt like my life was in freeze mode. God just kept saying to me at different times that I was right where he placed me and I would think, what????? I am in preparation mode. Preparation for ministry, for marriage, for the calling he's placed on my life-just preparation. God is working on me in the area of patience. I never realized how much help I needed in this area until I was placed in this season where I'm told to WAIT God out...and then wait some more. Patience is key in just about every area of life. The lack of patience will cause you to rush and possibly make mistakes. I ask God daily for the grace to wait and to trust him more and more because life right now for me is a big WAIT!LOL! But while I'm waiting God is maturing my character and He led me to read I and II Timothy which is great instruction for how the child of God should  conduct themselves in ministry. God's Word is great for rebuke, correction, instruction, and encouragement! I dare you to let it be the blueprint for your life:)

It is soooo awesome and refreshing when you not only know the calling that God has on your life, the purposes for which you are on this earth, but when you are actually fulfilling the calling(s) or purpose(s) for your life! We live in a time where it pays to know God and have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ because simply put...this world is definitely upside down! But all that is happening in the world is no surprise because the Bible has these events that have happened since the beginning of time written somewhere in its pages. I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and as He wills me I will spread the Gospel wherever he leads me. It hurts me to see others lost, bound, and blinded when they don't have to be. As a Christian-like a real Christian-lol, God has equipped me to be able to speak life into the hearts of man. God is raising up a remnant in this generation, when others have said we were a lost cause. Call me a fanatic, call me a Holy roller, but the good thing is that it doesn't matter what people call me as long as I am about my Father's business and I hear him CALL me to eternal life:)

TO SETTLE IS TO SUFFER...IN VAIN.: INTELLECT

TO SETTLE IS TO SUFFER...IN VAIN.: INTELLECT: "I remember it like it was yesterday..the day I discovered I was in love with Intellect. Intellect knew just the right things to say, the rig..."

INTELLECT

I remember it like it was yesterday..the day I discovered I was in love with Intellect. Intellect knew just the right things to say, the right moves to make. Intellect refused to go fast-even for my lack of patience sake! Ooohhh and when Intellect caressed my mind with challenges to the lobes of my brain, when Intellect made love to my mind over and over and over again until I climaxed only to come back down on a soft bed of silence as Intellect began to LISTEN to what I had to say and Intellect had the nerve to be able to repeat everything I said back to me! WHAT??!! Intellect must be from an island in the middle of nowhere where there is only one of this kind cuz baby...when Intellect speaks my heart flutters, my tongue stutters. Man Intellect will make you wanna lose your religion and gain more of it at the same time...huh?? Oh yes Intellect has my attention, got me definitely feeling like I'm ready to ride its definition into the next dimension. When intellect speaks-I get so...weak in the knees I can hardly speak, I lose...ok ok so I'll get up off that song cuz it's already been written but Intellect definitely just gave it the remix and added to it a new verse! See Intellect keeps it real, got me going back for triple portions of what it's serving in its six course meal-what's the deal? Intellect got me forgetting I'm a freakin' gangsta man-got me feeling like I'm already in the promised land, I'm just sayin'. Intellect it's really not a question of if I will wrap up with you forever in and out, in and out of time-it's just a matter of when God says do you take Intellect to have and to hold, for better or for worse...aint no need to rehearse cuz my heart has played Intellect's verse a million times-in and out of time.

HEYYY!! TELL CNN-I'M BACK YO!

Somehow I had forgotten how liberating writing can be! The beauty of beginning with a blank slate and being able to move your arm across it for ever and a day is, is orgasmic!! I had forgotten how when during a period in my life it seemed as though I had noone to talk to but God, how I fell in love with the release I felt as my pen moved across the paper.The paper demands no fee for its time, it's just...free and freely it allows me to be-simply me! For all of those who began my journey with me years ago through my writing...I'M BACK!

WATCH MY HIPS

Traveling flows from my heart into my bloodstream back to my heart once more. The next phase of my life appears to be traveling combined with my love for people and strong desire to see people set free from their bondages of religion, sin, tradition, fear, etc. Yes I am a true evangelical sojourner set and ready for action! All I see and want to see is joy unspeakable leaping from the souls of man because they have come to know true freedom as I have. I am the Moses of this generation in a sense screaming aloud, "LET MY PEOPLE GO!" So I in a sense don't have any time for the simple cares of this world that others are choosing to be consumed by because they are indeed a waste of the time that is quickly winding up. Whatever will be, will be. I am not chasing friendships,relationships,love, nor will I chase dreams. I am living THE dream I am walking in my purpose. If those other things happen to want to join me along the way-then so be it.If not, they can watch the natural sway of my hips as I continue to walk into my destiny!

FREEDOM

One doesn't truly know freedom until one is truly free. Freedom in and of itself is the means by which hope allows a tired and weary breath to escape instead of remaining imprisoned by other's shackles of expectations. You see somewhere between Africa and Europe conception was conceived and the hope of the impossible being birthed was perceived. It was even before I felt purpose leap inside my womb that I dared to press, dared to perservere because you see all I've got is the plan of God for my life before the creation of this world. All I've got is the fact that God has told me that all things work together for my good because I love him and I'm called according to his purpose. All I've got....is these ears that no longer hear anything birthed from "mother nature" ears that only perk up to the supernatural because this thing inside of me sure aint natural! I have been in labor for what seems like forever and there's no turning back, it's time to push and I've been so used to being the nurse, Doctor, and tech. that I cannot even comprehend that there is available staff trained and ready to receive and nurture what I birth forth from this supernatural birth canal. I've become numb to pain, expectant of it because of course there is no such thing as a life without pain right? So as I scream out in pain with a sound that scares the devil himself, I ask the question...when Lord when? All of creation is waiting...when Lord when?

The journey inbetween the now and the harvest.

Isn't it just the most amazing feeling in the world when you receive revelation knowledge of great and mighty things to come in your future?! You've had dreams, visions, prophecies, etc. and you know that your latter will indeed be greater than your past. What is not mentioned sometimes is the "in-between" or the journey to get from point A to point C. I am reminded of the story of Joseph when as a child he had a dream that he would be a great leader and that his family would bow down to him. Joseph probably could not help but to feel a sense of excitement, who wouldn't? Oh but God did not show Joseph any dreams about him being thrown into a pit by his brothers, thrown in jail, lied on, etc. I sometimes wonder if God had showed Joseph these things, would he have been as excited...? Would he have gotten off that bus at the next stop-lol! As I continue to mature in Christ I have come to the understanding that when God has a purpose for your life which was designed of course to fulfill his will, and bring glory to his name, he takes you through levels, sometimes even dimensions before you are able to walk in the higher calling he has placed on your life. On this journey to your higher calling, you experience many, many things, people, and situations which may seem like set backs, dissapointments, failure, heartache, you may even feel as though God has forsaken you. Sometimes you are stripped of everything except your very life in order to gain. Doesn't make you run to sign up for this deal huh?lol! I myself am on a journey to my promised land, to my higher calling and let me tell you, it has been UNCOMFORTABLE! Basically anytime you're challenged to come out of your comfort zone, you will be uncomfortable. But even though at times I get discouraged, and God is constantly maturing my faith and dependance in him, I look at me now and I look at the me about a year ago and I can truly see God's hand at work in my life. I used to be a "worry wart", I used to stress out often, panick, my faith and trust in God was low. Yes I KNEW the scriptures but I was not living the scriptures on faith and believing God. It took me going through many test to build my faith because when all of your doors close around you...you learn to lean and depend on God or you will find yourself contemplating ending your life or endangering it one, because a lack of faith in God will cause you to lay down and give up. The closer I got to God the more I began to understand that the plan that he has for my life is already set but that there was a transformation of the human mind and logic that needed to take place in order for him to bring me into my Canaan.

SOUL SEARCHING

There comes a point in life where one must stand still, take a look around and assess where they are and how they got there. Good or bad, self searching in my opinion, is the key to advancing in life. After all the unexamined life is not a life worth living right? To search one's self effectively, one must have the ability to be honest with oneself. One must seek to gain wisdom, understanding into the deepest depths of their innermost being, and be brave enough to look face to face the thoughts, issues, desires that become hidden in and out of time by society's rash demands of the "ideal" person or perhaps they are our own demands of "our ideal person". Whichever the case, we are more than the surface that is our skin and our smile. We are the untold stories written before we came out of our mother's vaginas and the unsung songs sung from the souls of those gone on before us. Who are we? Our destiny was determined before the sperm and the egg even met in agreement to bring forth the unknown. What do we want? Where are we headed? I for one am a HUGE fan of soul searching...do you dare to search your own?

WAIT ON IT!!

So through my line of work, watching those around me, reading magazine columns, etc. I have observed something very disturbing....the misery of settling. What I mean is this, it seems as though when people settle, be it in relationships, careers, living arrangements, spirtituality, etc. they end up being very miserable. I am a firm believer of getting to the root causes of things, I do not believe that to find a solution to this settling epidemic that we can stay surface level so....here we go! I am saddened at the sight of watching my peers and even those significantly older than I settle for Mr. or Ms. "good enough" "right now""he got money""she can cook" "he may not want to work but girl he got that....!" NEED I CONTINUE! lol! It sounds funny but it is the truth being lived out daily by many. Sometimes people settle because waiting is just not an option when they are feeling lonely and abandoned by their so called version of "love". I have even witnessed those who have settled all the way to the altar only to find themselves a few years into the marriage "growing apart". It's not that they grew apart necessarily but I dare to say it's the corridor of a part of their heart that they covered with temporary infatuation, telling themselves that "love will come". But you see the mind does not do what the heart tells it and in time they find that although married Mr. or Ms. "right now" their hearts still long for the one who is "bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh." I see people settle into careers because of what family wants or for money sake and go to work miserable everyday, die before their time due to stress, and never understand the concept of getting paid for doing something that fulfills your God given purpose and that you actually love to do.  It's sad to say, but I see people settle into a comfort zone in their spirituality instead of accepting the challenge to go higher, pursue greatness, show others that there is a more excellent way, daring to stand up and say I'm not going to be and do the things that everyone else is doing because I have an appointment with purpose and a divine destiny that was put into place even before the foundation of the world! Or maybe the reason for settling is simply because many may not even know who they truly are so settling for "good enough" instead of receiving God's BESTseems perfectly appropriate to them? When you understand who you are, where you're going, and what your purpose(s) is in this cycled life, you will take to heart my favorite quote; "TO SETTLE IS TO SUFFER, AND TO SETTLE BECAUSE OF SUFFERING IS TO SUFFER IN VAIN!" What do you think?

RELIGION=BONDAGE?

What happens when one is raised in religion and religion's demands of "right" actions=salvation or redemption? To me religion represents a list of laws, impossible demands, old covenant shackles which leave a person depressed, feeling unworthy, and leaves your conscience burdened. What kind of a God would want his beloved children to live like that? Some examples of religion are, having to pray a certain number of times a day in order to fulfill an OBLIGATION to gain access to God, or here is one that I hear people say sometimes, "I have to fast for however many days so God can forgive me because I've sinned so much!" WOW! What did Jesus die for then?? What do you think?


#ONTHEPULSEOFTHEMORNING